beautiful girls

Bangkok has a reputation for making foreign women feel invisible. In Montreal, my sense of femininity is bolstered daily by little flirtations at the grocery store, crossing the street, in the coffee shop, men smile at me, give me lingering looks, make light jokes. This isn’t the heavy, purposeful flirting of bars, just something that gives everyday life a sense of joy and playfullness. In Bangkok, this attention is noticeably absent.

Recently I spent some time at the beach. When I first arrived, guys were flirting with me, sizing me up, and I was temporarily confused. “Whaaaat? “Oh yeah, I’m attractive! I forgot all about that”.

Buoyed by my recent vacation, I come back to Bangkok feeling like hot shit, and I find that all the guys look at me. The feeling of my lover still against my skin, I am radiant, insolent. I couldn’t give a shit what people think of me on the street. A cute guy selling stuff on my soi broke into a huge smile this morning as I smiled at him.

So it seems like Bangkok responds to inner confidence, but it just doesn’t really do anything to *give* you that confidence.

6 Responses to “beautiful girls”


  1. 1 tewson December 24, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    Well, from my 20-year experience of being Thai and being male, I feel like Thai girls usually don’t like flirting, not even looking. Sometimes I really wanna say ‘Hello’ to a girl walking out of the same film as me but I know that it would sound stupid (or at least it’s too risky to sound stupid). I feel more comfortable to talk to a foreign stranger than a Thai one. Strange, huh?

    • 2 julielavoie December 26, 2008 at 9:56 pm

      Maybe you should flirt more with foreign girls instead of Thai girls, then? ๐Ÿ˜›

      Seriously, it’s nice to have a Thai guy explain this because I find it hard to understand. ๐Ÿ™‚

      In the English part of Canada they are kind of anti-flirting too (at my university I once saw a girl walk down the path wearing thigh-high stockings and a short skirt and looking really cute, and none of the guys even *followed her with their eyes*. I was like “man, you guys are so sad!”) but in the French part of Canada everyones loves flirting!

  2. 3 Angie December 28, 2008 at 9:17 am

    I know what you mean!!! Im the Californian suburb I just moved away from, I felt awful and ugly and that now that I was a mom, there was no attractiveness or sexiness about me. Like that was closed off for good. But as soon as I was back in Montreal, it was like – even though I had my kid with me, I was still beautiful and flirt-able. On my first solo shopping trip, I had at least three men come up and flirt, two of them talking about their kids to me, then giving me sexy sideways glances as they held the door for my stroller. Then told me my son was beautiful, and watched me walk away. There is no virgin/whore complex here, thank god. And it really does elevate life to something light and fun again. Bless french men!

    • 4 julielavoie December 28, 2008 at 10:57 am

      Yeah, that’s the magic of French men. I love them! I mean, I was talking to this French guy who was married, and essentially setting me up with his friend, but he was still flirting with me at the same time! It’s not like “hey, let’s get into bed” — because that’s obviously not the situation, but just “i appreciate your beauty”

      i mean, this makes sense, because why limit flirting to those we want to sleep with? (this is going to sound kind of cheesy, :-P) Why not give appreciation for the joy that beauty brings us everyday?

      French-Canadians guys are the same, I took a ferry boat with two of them on the way back from the islands, and they were so amazing!

  3. 5 ros December 29, 2008 at 8:04 am

    I just stumbled upon your blog, read this entry and I can’t but comment… I am an Spaniard (girl) in BKK and completely share what you say in here. Invisible it is really the word! But I have also found that if you are the one that smiles/says hello first you *can* get a response ๐Ÿ™‚

    • 6 julielavoie December 29, 2008 at 12:51 pm

      yeah, that’s what i find too — if i make the first steps, i still get a response. in particular, if i feel really confident, i get lots of response from guys. it’s just really that it’s so easy to feel invisible, and that doesn’t give you confidence as a woman.

      i think thai guys are *really* shy, and they really don’t seem to flirt in everyday environments the way a guy from montreal would, or maybe a guy from spain.

      i’m telling you, i just want to import myself a french-canadian mail order husband from montreal. ๐Ÿ˜›


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A blog about culture and technology in South-East Asia.

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